


I'm still waiting

by Bubblegumgirl66



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Miscommunication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 12:02:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29558829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bubblegumgirl66/pseuds/Bubblegumgirl66
Summary: Lena confronts Kara about her lies.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 1
Kudos: 35





	I'm still waiting

Lena fell into her chair in L-corp, gripping her raven hair tightly in her hands. The city was silent and she slammed her large wine glass down on her desk, the glass shattering across its white surface. She stared blankly at the picture of her and Kara, not really seeing the reporter’s bright grin. She knew how she was supposed to view all of this, how everyone wanted her to see this, what Lex would have wanted her to do, what Kara would want, but she herself had no idea what she should felt. She slammed her fist down onto her desk, causing it to rattle, papers scattering onto her office floor.

She looked up, her mascara running down her pale face. She could still feel the weight of the gun in her hands and she had had to cancel a game night, earning a flurry of concerned emojis from Kara that she ignored. She grabbed a bottle of whiskey from her desk drawer and downed it straight from the bottle, coughing as it burned her throat. She eyed her office door, remembering when Kara had first walked into her office.

She remembered her blue eyes that she felt she could swim around in, how genuine her voice had sounded when she told her that she just wanted to be separated from what her brother had done, and she remembered the times that the caped hero had saved her. She remembered when she had fallen from her office, Supergirl catching her in her firm arms. She had hated that, hated how similar falling and flying had felt and she numbly figured that the only difference between the two was the crunch of bone.

She remembered how beautiful she had looked at her gala as she had turned and faced her best friend, forgetting all about Jack and Mike, Kara’s suitor and instead focussing on the gorgeous blonde in front of her, who hadn’t known the difference between Greece and Rome, to which Lena called her out on.

She sighed, shaking her head, something she did often to clear it. If all of this was really over, why were her memories coming back to her so vividly? She pinched herself, trying and failing to clear her mind. She remembered how soft and warm Kara’s hands were and wondered if there was any part of her that she hadn’t touched, her heart, her skin, even her memories were infected by Kara, by Supergirl. Lena wondered if a side effect of Kara was this painful ache, as though she was a bad drug, and she was, in a way. She had stolen everything from her, her time, her trust, her wines, her love, her heart. Oh, her heart, she had nearly forgotten why this hurt so much.

She wondered how much Kara wanted from her. Not even whiskey was working and she scowled, hurling the bottle at her wall, standing so fast that her chair fell backward, clattering to the floor. She turned to her window, she saw her reflection and was disgusted by what she saw. She still had the gleam in her eyes, Kara’s gleam. Time froze.

Kara’s leg jittered and Alex sighed in defeat. She was about to open her mouth but Kara was gone, the door flung open and a gust of wind was the only trace that she had ever been there in the first place.

Kara drifted through the air lazily. She had always felt like she was drifting, clinging to people like a lifeline, coming to Alex, to James, to Mon-el. All of that changed when she met Lena. Alex had scolded her, she was naive in everyone’s eyes, too trusting of people, too young to know anything, but Kara didn’t need to know everything, she already knew everything that mattered to her, she knew everything about Lena.

She knew that Lena loved vintage wine and fur, she knew how much Lena loved to read and that she wore glasses, she knew about the knots Lena would get from stress, she knew that Lena snored softly in her sleep, and she knew how much it would hurt the both of them when she discovered the truth. Tears came to Kara’s eyes. She knew how she felt around Lena and how it would shatter her heart to her Lena’s own fragile one break. Lena liked to pretend that her heart was stone, but in reality, to Kara, it was glass and she had dropped it into a thousand tiny pieces that had become lodged into Kara’s own heart like a thousand tiny cuts.

Lena would praise Kara, even when she hadn’t known the difference between Greece and Rome, even when she was just her clumsy self who wore too many cardigans to Lena, she was her favourite, she was Lena’s hero. Lena had drawn out her flaws and she had shown Lena them, all of them and Lena had loved her for them, observing each one carefully before smiling and remarking something very Lena-like, as Kara put it. Now, however, it felt like every scar that Lena had touched was bleeding.

She drifted past L-corp and saw Lena, hunched over at her desk, folded in on herself. She rapped softly on the window and Lena jumped, whirling around, hair dishevelled, but somehow still perfect. Lena opened her balcony door and Kara floated in. Lena wondered how she hadn’t noticed sooner, it was dreadfully obvious and it felt that Kara was mocking her, even as she stared at her, concern filling her blue orbs.

Lena felt like she was going to explode and she decided to do just that, explode like Kara’s planet, like every disastrous incident, like a dying star. Lena found it fitting.

“I know you’re Kara,” she blurted and Kara’s eyes widened comically large. The sight made Lena impossibly angrier.

“Lena…” Kara’s voice drifted off. She didn’t know what to say, what could she say.

Lena scoffed. “What’s wrong, didn’t think I’d ever figure it out, right?”

Kara stumbled over her words. “Lena, this isn’t because you’re a Luthor I-”

“That’s the problem, Kara,” Lena shouted. Kara and Lena both marked the moment when time froze. Lena felt like she could hear a pin drop and she faintly heard thin, shattered shards of her broken wine glass twinkle in the wind.

“I know that Kara, that was made abundantly clear whenever you came to visit. That’s what makes this so...if it’s not my last name then it’s me right? I can’t blame this on anything except for myself. What did I do Kara, please, I need to know, when in our three years of knowing each other did you decide that I was undeserving of the knowledge that you’re Supergirl, news that even Maggie knows! She and Alex aren’t even together anymore!”

Kara let out an ugly sob. “Lena I wanted to tell you so many times-”

Lena scoffed and chuckled wetly. “This was always inevitable, wasn’t it? It wouldn’t have mattered if I wasn’t a Luthor or if you weren’t a Super, don’t you get it?! None of that matters!”

Kara was sobbing now, big crocodile tears, but Lena remained quiet. She wanted to hear what Kara had to say, what paper-thin promise she could make, what paper-thin cut she would carve into her heart next.

Lena already knew what would happen before Kara even opened her mouth. She would curse Kara, eventually, her anger would set in and she would run, just like always. Kara would chase her, beg her to listen, to stay, beg for forgiveness and Lena would ignore her not because she was above her but because now she had fallen so, so far from the pedestal. She knew she would one day return to Kara, appear at the door to her apartment, mascara running. She knew that maybe both of them would find someone, share Christmasses, have a family. She knew that both of them would try to fix the ending, but it wouldn’t do anything.

Kara knew that Lena would haunt her like a ghost. She knew she would break down later, leaning her back against her worn door. She knew one day they would pass on the streets and they would be nothing but strangers and Kara knew that it would break her all over again.

**Author's Note:**

> I listened to so many Taylor Swift songs while making this if some of it sounds familiar. :)


End file.
